Baghdad 2003
by MarenMary93
Summary: Baghdad, 2003. Jack, Greg and Mitch have been stationed in Iraq for a while. On a routine operation, the shit hits the fan. Greg doesn't let Jack's injury stop him from torturing him with their regular banter. Jack is not pleased. Hurt!Jack (Of course...) pre-series...


**OKAY… This one is based off of the banter that went on between two of my high school buddies…**

 **Let me just explain a bit first.  
-We went to a Christian boarding school… (Just three people in our group were actually Christian… L and S were not…)  
-L and S were best buddies.  
-L was a major flirt.  
-L flirted with all of us girls, but we always guessed that it didn't mean a thing…  
-One day L gave up on flirting with E, and in an attempt to keep his honor after being shut down in a pretty hilarious way, he leaned over to S and went "Hiiii cutie! Anybody ever tell you you have gorgeous eyes?" (S, was at that time 240 lbs, nasty 'down-y' almost-beard, and uneven eyes… I wouldn't call his personality winning either… but…)  
-S answered in a voice about two octaves higher than usual "Yeah, you did, last night!"  
-And then they had this thing with a quarter they swapped back and forth with the words, 'payment for last night…'**

 **Every now and then, they would 'steal the show' during lunch hour or something. And it would just be so over the top that you wouldn't believe it!**

 **I believe that none of us were able to blush after that year. That, and there is NOTHING that you can say or show me that might make me lose my appetite… Trust me on this one…  
(We also had this dare thing we had going… During the supper, we would have one glass where we would just pour in whatever we didn't want. A little bit of apple juice, jam, milk, coffee, tea, butter, cucumber, slice of cheese, whatever… Then we would have bets, competitions or dares to figure out who would be the unlucky one… The loser had to drink/eat the whole concoction… Yuck…)**

"Now Jackie…" Lt. Shaw almost shouted as he squatted down beside him. "What do you think about these bullets flying around here?"

"Think they're adding a bit of action…"

"Yeah, I thought the same…"

"We don't need any more action!" Jack called back.

"Agreed!" Lt. Shaw shouted as a bullet whistled past their cover. "How's the leg?"

"Been better, Hoss…" Jack answered shortly.

Greg Shaw fixed his eyes on Jack's leg. A tourniquet was slowing the blood flowing from Jack's ill-bent leg. The piece of tibia or fibula poking out just above the boot was nasty looking.

"We should really make a splint for that fracture of yours…"

Jack gritted his teeth and cast a glance down at his leg. "We probably should…"

"Pain?"

Jack looked like he was swallowing a cactus, "Yeah…"

"I meant…"

"I KNOW WHAT YOU MEANT!" Jack yelled back, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Okay-okay…"

Another bullet whistled past them, a little too close for comfort.

"DAMMIT!" Jack growled as he folded in on himself. Every move sent lightning bolts up his leg. "If I shoot cover, can you get to the Humvee?"

Greg judged the distance between their shelter and the armored car.

"Maybe…"

Jack cried out as he rolled over to take aim, tears were pouring out from his eyes, blurring his vision. He wiped his tears away with a sandy glove, he blinked a few more times and wiped once more.

"You better, cause I know I won't…"

"Sure?" Greg Shaw shot back with a playful tone, "Cause I thought you jumped that fence pretty good…"

"SHUT YOUR FACE!"

"Oh, don't be sore…"

"My leg is split open by my bones and someone is shooting at us! I REALLY DON'T FIND YOUR COMEDIC ANTICS FUNNY!"

"Oh… Here I was thinking that you loved me…" Lt. Shaw chuckled.

"You know I do… Like a brother…" Jack took a calculated breath, finding his first target in his scope. "But you really have crappy humor! And bad timing! –You ready?"

"Just say when…"

"NOW!"

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"Shorty, how's Jackie-boy holding up back there?" Lt. Shaw called over his shoulder as he drove like a bat out of hell.

"He's in pain, pulse is elevated…" Mitch called back, "-And he's trying to teach me a few new cusswords! They're quite colorful!"

"All is well then?" Greg Shaw called back in a lighter tone.

"I'd call it SNAFU!"

"Situation Normal, All Fucked Up! LOVE IT!" Lt. Shaw grinned.

"Hoss, you're crazy… I think Gunner would agree if he could stop cussing for more than a split second…"

"Jackie? 'Course Jackie would agree!" Greg smirked, "Jackie has called me crazy twelve times today already…"

The Humvee hit a pothole and the vehicle bounced on its tires for a little stretch, causing an inhuman wail to rip from Jack's lungs.

"Pretty sure they heard that one back in the states Jackie…" Greg winced, covering one ear while keeping his left hand on the steering wheel. "I think there are F-16's with lower read on the sound level meter than that wail you just let out…"

"I think Gunner wants you to know that he's giving you the finger right now…" Mitch explained as he was the middleman.

"Well, I hope it's the ring finger… I've been trying to woo him for three full months now…" Greg chuckled.

"Negative. It's the middle one…"

"Oh, that's a bummer… My charm and good looks hasn't won him over? I'm getting a nagging feeling that he was honest when he told me he was straight… I swear, my gaydar was flipping out over him…"

"You're now getting it in stereo…"

"Think of it as a sign of good health… Jackie cussing and flipping people off… I'd be worried if he didn't do that…"

"Just like we should be worried if you stopped making bad jokes, and testing people's comfort levels?"

"Uhuh…" Greg nodded in the front seat. "Though I have to applaud Jackie here, three full months and I still haven't found his trigger! Guy's a freaking robot!"

"Well, I think 'terminator' back here would like to choke you because of your driving skills… Or lack there off…" Mitch directed to Shaw, before he focused on Jack again. "Now, Gunner… Looks like we're 20 away from base. How are you holding up?"

Jack's lethal glare answered the question for him.

"Bad pain, getcha…" Mitch nodded and ran a dirty hand through his dust-filled hair, "Stupid question, I get it…"

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"How's that morphine treating you Jackie?"

"Hoss, you're a bitch…"

"Boyfriend… Please don't treat me like that…"

Jack managed to roll his eyes even through the haze of the morphine made everything blur around him. "Go fixate on that pretty redhead wife of yours… Leave me alone…"

"You think my wife is pretty?"

"She's hot as fire!" Jack grinned, blinking his eyes excessively.

"So you won't fall for me, but my wife is your cup of tea?"

"Seriously, have you seen her boobs?"

"Yeah, I've seen them… Would I have better chance on you if I had her boobs?"

"Nah… Not really…" Jack tried his best to fix his eyes on his best buddy. "You know I'm not that into blondes anyway…"

"So that's what it comes down to? My hair color?" Greg feigned hurt.

"That and the lack of boobs…" Jack drawled, "Wrong plumbing too…"

Greg laughed out loud, covering his chest with a large hand. "Hahah, I know buddy… I know… Just testing you…"

"I know… I know…" Jack yawned, "But next time, could you please just lay off the regular banter when I'm in pain?"

"What you don't appreciate me trying to turn you gay?"

"Not when my leg is sticking out of my leg… No…"

"But when you're healed?"

"Do your worst…" Jack shook his head and rolled his eyes. "I'm confident in my sexuality… Confident enough to say that you're not my type… Never will be…"

"Aww, you're breaking my heart…"

 **Okay, hope you had fun reading this little thingy… And hearing about my HS years…**


End file.
